NLP Language Ambiguities

The English language is very complex, confusing and littered with ambiguities. This illustrates that confusion in a funny, and factual way. Enjoy!
Can you read these right the first time?
1) I wound the bandage around the wound.
2) We figured out a way to produce more produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish figurines.
5) Get the lead out and you will be in the lead.
6) Ice cream is a great dessert in the desert, if you desert your diet.
7) He was present to present the present .
8) A bass played the bass drum in the cartoon.
9) The dove dove out of sight.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The invalid had invalid symptoms.
12) Sitting in a row the oarsmen had a row about how to row .
13) They were too close to close the book.
14) The does watch while the buck does tricks.
15) A sewer fell down into the sewer line.
16) The farmer taught his sow to sow, and his wife taught the sow to sew.
17) The wind was too weak to wind the sail.
18) I shed a tear when I saw the tear in the dress.
19) I had to subject the subject to questioning.
20) I intimate this to you, my most intimate friend.

Is a pineapple an apple that falls off a pine tree? Is a hamburger made out of ham? Do they really have french fries in France? If they do, then English muffins must have come from England- or did they? (And I have to wonder, where did they come up with the word Pizza, and why does everyone think it was invented in Italy?)

Why are boxing rings square? Quicksand works pretty slow from what I've seen (in the movies, anyway). Writers write, singers sing, flingers fling- but do fingers fing? And I've got wagers on the wagers at the dog races.

What about plurals? They don't make sense either. I had one tooth pulled, but I still have most of my teeth. With a party of 12 will one booth do, or will you need a few beeth? More then one goose are geese. So more then one moose must be meese? What is the singular for odds and ends? If teachers taught do preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

After I recite at the play can we play at the recital? Should I ship it by truck or send it by ship? My nose runs but my feet smell. Do I have a slim chance or a fat chance? What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy? Is your house burning up or is it burning down? When you fill out the form, be sure to fill in all the blanks.

The English language is creative and nonsensical, and that's what makes it special and unique. That is why, when the stars are out, they sparkle across the sky for all to see, but when the lights are out where do they go? So let's go out and take a look at the stars, but don't forget to turn out the lights before we leave.

What is NLP?

NLP is all about speaking to the unconscious mind in a language it can easily understand. Believe it or not, the unconscious mind understands things differently then the conscious mind does. The unconscious mind is a great deal more complex. And guess what . . . We all have one! So we probably should learn to communicate with it, don't you think?

The first thing we need to learn is that the unconscious understands only positive statements. So if I were to say to you "I do not want you to do that." what your unconscious mind really hears is "I do want you to do that." Only the positives are heard. That is why we have so many problems raising our kids! They are hearing something totally different then what we are saying. So next time try saying it this way: "I want you to do this."

What we believe affects our lives in many ways, some positive and some negative. Look at it this way. You could compare a newborn baby to a computer just out of the box. She has only been programmed for the very basic stuff (breathing, bodily functions, etc.) The first thing the baby learns to do is to cry. If she cries a certain way, then her mother will know she needs to be fed or she needs to be changed. (Mom is also being programmed). As time goes by she will learn to smile, roll over, crawl and eventually walk. Everything this baby learns is a program. There will be times when she will learn things that are unproductive. Maybe she will learn that if she throws a tantrum she gets what she wants. When she is 30 years old she might still think that throwing a tantrum is the thing to do and this may be a problem for her.

NLP deletes these unproductive programs. There are many simple processes that work with the unconscious mind to get rid of old programs and create new ones. Hypnosis is an effective method, but not the only one. A time-line will take you back to the creation of a program, where it can easily be deleted or changed. These are only a few of the methods used. Give it a try! You will be amazed at the difference NLP will make in your life!

NLP Trick to Remember Names

Do you have trouble remembering names? This can be a real problem that affects your personal and professional life. Next time you meet someone, try this strategy:

Take an imaginary snapshot of them and label the picture with the persons name.

In your mind, write the name over his or her head.

As soon as possible, write the name on paper.

Link to at least three of the five senses. (See the name, Say the name, Write the name)

Yes, you do have to take the time and make the effort, but if you follow these instructions, everybody will be amazed at how well you remember them.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming

NLP (Neuro-Linquistic Programming) Is more than just Hypnosis. It's a no-nonsense practical approach to self-improvement psychology. A proven technique of self-transformation, (NLP) speaks to the subconscious mind in a language it can easily understand and recognize. Communication that involves the five senses (sight, sound, touch, taste and smell) creates a more specific understanding and positive results.

Building a bridge between the present state and the desired state can be a useful tool in understanding your inner self and the world. To remove unproductive behavior, and replace them with desirable thoughts and actions, hypnosis is used, along with other simple easy processes. Most processes are done under the guidance of a certified NLP Coach, while some can be used without supervision.

NLP is more effective then modern Psychology and considerably less expensive. Your goals can be reached in one to three sessions instead of the usual weekly sessions that can go on for years in psychological counseling. We will get to the root of the problem. Once this is accomplished, it's easy to replace or delete the problem entirely.

Heart-centered and Spiritually based, (NLP) incorporates Eastern Philosophy and Western Psychology, creating a combination of ancient wisdom and modern knowledge.