NLP Language Ambiguities

The English language is very complex, confusing and littered with ambiguities. This illustrates that confusion in a funny, and factual way. Enjoy!
Can you read these right the first time?
1) I wound the bandage around the wound.
2) We figured out a way to produce more produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish figurines.
5) Get the lead out and you will be in the lead.
6) Ice cream is a great dessert in the desert, if you desert your diet.
7) He was present to present the present .
8) A bass played the bass drum in the cartoon.
9) The dove dove out of sight.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The invalid had invalid symptoms.
12) Sitting in a row the oarsmen had a row about how to row .
13) They were too close to close the book.
14) The does watch while the buck does tricks.
15) A sewer fell down into the sewer line.
16) The farmer taught his sow to sow, and his wife taught the sow to sew.
17) The wind was too weak to wind the sail.
18) I shed a tear when I saw the tear in the dress.
19) I had to subject the subject to questioning.
20) I intimate this to you, my most intimate friend.

Is a pineapple an apple that falls off a pine tree? Is a hamburger made out of ham? Do they really have french fries in France? If they do, then English muffins must have come from England- or did they? (And I have to wonder, where did they come up with the word Pizza, and why does everyone think it was invented in Italy?)

Why are boxing rings square? Quicksand works pretty slow from what I've seen (in the movies, anyway). Writers write, singers sing, flingers fling- but do fingers fing? And I've got wagers on the wagers at the dog races.

What about plurals? They don't make sense either. I had one tooth pulled, but I still have most of my teeth. With a party of 12 will one booth do, or will you need a few beeth? More then one goose are geese. So more then one moose must be meese? What is the singular for odds and ends? If teachers taught do preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

After I recite at the play can we play at the recital? Should I ship it by truck or send it by ship? My nose runs but my feet smell. Do I have a slim chance or a fat chance? What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy? Is your house burning up or is it burning down? When you fill out the form, be sure to fill in all the blanks.

The English language is creative and nonsensical, and that's what makes it special and unique. That is why, when the stars are out, they sparkle across the sky for all to see, but when the lights are out where do they go? So let's go out and take a look at the stars, but don't forget to turn out the lights before we leave.