Improve Self-Image in 4 Easy Steps

Listen to Your Thoughts

When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, consciously change them to positive ones. Constructive self-talk will have a positive influence on your self-esteem. Pay attention to where the thought originated. If the thought came to mind because of a past situation that wasn’t resolved, work on resolving the issue. If the thought is a reaction to something that’s happening at the moment, ask yourself if you are seeing the situation accurately or if you are being influenced by emotions.

 Treat Yourself with Respect and Kindness

Forgive yourself when you make a mistake. Everybody slips up on occasion. Allow for imperfections without considering them to be a reflection on you. Appreciate yourself for the good things you do and the accomplishments you have made. Accept that you are a worthwhile and valuable person.

Identify 5 things that you like about yourself

Jot down 5 things you like about yourself in a daily journal. You have a lot of great qualities, and it helps to see them written down on paper. Whenever you are feeling down, get out your journal and read your list of good qualities out loud. This will cheer you up.

Laugh and Smile

Laughter is the best medicine. A good laugh relieves stress, lowers your blood pressure and makes you stronger.  A laugh releases feel good endorphins into your system, and it’s catching. When somebody sees you smile, they get those healing endorphins flowing through their bodies too.

Accept Your Power

What stops you . . .

from taking your own power and running with it? Do you feel that something is holding you back from accomplishing your goals?

We all have internal blocks that impede our progress, halting us just short of our destination of accomplishment and abundance. The trick is to discover those blockades and tear them down.

Your assignment is to sit down with pen and paper in hand. Write down the first five obstructions that come to you. If you allow your subconscious mind to come through and take free reign, everything will become clear.

As you examine your answers, ask yourself this: Are you holding yourself accountable or do you tend to blame other people or outside influences for your lack of progress?

It’s important to remember that the blocks we carry always begin on the inside and work their way out. If you believe that obstruction is coming from the outside and working its way in, than you are avoiding the acceptance of your own responsibility.

Your next step is to go through your answers one by one, and address the inner issues that are at the root of each conflict. Once the internal matter is resolved, the problem will correct itself.

To accept your own power, you must accept responsibility for your life. Once you do this you will regain control and start to move forward with precision and speed to accomplish your every desire.

There is no "try"

“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try!” Yoda- Star Wars Character“I will try.” Hearing these words uttered out of my own mouth filled me with dismay. My boss looked at me with defeated apprehension in his eyes, and shook his head. His reaction told me what I needed to do. Pushing myself into action I altered my statement abruptly. “I will do it!” Relief washed over his face like a warm cloth, and a soft smile brightened his expression. “Now, that’s what I wanted to hear!”

It had been an endless Friday fraught with dissatisfied customers, discontented fellow employees, and numerous mishaps strewn throughout the day like a game of connect-the-dots. Did my pessimistic attitude affect my life in a downbeat way? Did my actions, words and body language somehow influence negative forces to take hold? I determined to improve my outlook, make some positive changes and turn my frown upside down (yes, a cliché, but one that fits).

How often do you hear these words from yourself and others: “I’ll try . . . to be on time”, or “I’ll try . . . to get that finished”? The phrase “I’ll try” does not inspire confident assurance in anyone. It only creates doubt. It is used along with a lack of commitment, an uncertainty of success, and an unwillingness to put forth the effort needed.

The origin of the word “try” came from prehistoric times. The procrastinating caveman “Ugg” came up with the word. Having spent the morning being harassed by his wife to bring home meat for dinner, he glanced outside the cave entrance only to notice a huge, menacing, and fierce saber tooth tiger eying him hungrily. Throwing stones in front of the entrance, he hid in the corner and said, “Ugg try tomorrow”. Due to a lack of food, he and his family perished, but this useless word survived and spread like the discovery of fire. It passed on through generations, showing up in the English language along with “can’t”, “why”, “maybe”, “sometime”, and “uh-uh” centuries later, to the disappointment of us all.

“I’ll try” is a statement that implies a lack of dedication. It is beige on the color wheel, bland to the taste buds, and that white noise emitting from the air conditioning vent, an undefined and vague offshoot from the straight road to accomplishment. You have to search to find it amongst the tangle of bushes and twigs, buried behind a tree stump, it is so elusive. It’s a generic cop out of a word, used only when your expectations are mediocre at best. If I were asked to walk a tight rope across the Grand Canyon, would my response be, “I’ll try.” Hell no! Perhaps an emphatic “Absolutely, I would love to.” or an equally enthusiastic “No way!” but certainly not “I’ll try.” I would be dooming myself to failure. (I’ll leave that one to Evel Knievel. Can you imagine him responding “I’ll try”?)

In every situation you must be willing to:
Give your all
Make the necessary effort
Follow through
Get it done

Avoid the “maybe”, “someday”, “whenever”, or “soon” see-sawing, hazy, fuzzy and blurred response. That just won’t cut it.

Sure, there are times when we are all guilty of sitting back, propping up our feet and just expecting change to be handed to us like a miracle on a silver platter. Haven’t we heard somewhere that if we just expect good things, abundance, happiness and success will come to us? Did they forget to tell us that it takes some effort on our part? Yes, I believe in a Divine Being that intervenes and fights for us when the going gets rough. However, I also believe that same Divine Being expects us to do our part in the immense scheme of things. That is why we were given brains to think with, muscles to work with and common sense to get the job done.

• You need to buy a ticket to win the lottery.
• You must enter a contest to win.
• You have to drive a car (or somebody else does) to get where you're going.
• Dinner doesn't cook itself.
• The handle has to be pulled on the slot machine to win the jackpot.
• You are required to attend classes to earn a degree.
• Work is necessary to get a paycheck.

So, when the word “try” enters your vocabulary, make a conscious change to “I will”. That’s your final answer- no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Take back your power. Make the changes necessary to improve your life. Just do it!

New Year's RE-Solutions

Going in to 2008, the time has come again to set our goals, and work out a plan of action to achieve them. Last year I wrote about some methods of visualization that are quite effective, and I encourage you to go back and read that article.

Although it seems to be a popular idea these days that just wishing and hoping for something is enough to “make” things happen (The Secret), I am going out on a limb to say- that just isn’t enough. There is always work involved in accomplishing an objective. It is simply a matter of presentation. Some people are able to make things look easy to an outside observer, when the truth is the successful achiever has been following a plan of action faithfully, and performing a lot of hard work to get where he is at. Here are some guidelines to make your new year successful and prosperous.

Develop a Well-Formed Outcome

1. Express the goal in the positive.
There’s a big difference between “I don’t want to be sick and tired anymore”. and “I want to be healthy with lots of energy.” The subconscious mind ignores negatives, whereas positives are well received.

2. Make sure the goal is within your power to achieve.
Is it initiated and maintained by you, or does it’s success depend on outside influences? You are in control of your own behavior, but not how well the stock market performs.

3. Is the ecology correct?
When you achieve this goal, will it affect your life in a positive way? How will it affect your family? Your job? Your own values? Are you prepared for the changes it will make in your life, and on others around you?

Once you have developed a well-formed outcome, here are some NLP processes that work best for achieving goals:

1. Add it to your timeline. Place it specifically where you want it to be, reinforce it with anchoring , and lock it into place. Use 3 or more of the representational systems (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Gustatory).

2. The “As-if” frame. Acting as if a goal is already achieved can plant it permanently in the subconscious mind.

3. The New Behavior Generator. Running movies of yourself doing the new behavior, in and out of association. This way you can feel, hear and see what it’s like to achieve your goal (associated) and also see and feel it from an outside perspective (disassociated).

4. Visualization. As I described in my previous article that you have already read or will read right away.

5. The Swish Pattern. Brings your goal into focus, to replace old and ineffective behaviors.

6. Modeling. Modeling someone who demonstrates who you want to become, and has the qualities you wish to acquire in your own personality will put you on track to develop the behaviors you will achieve.

7. Release old, outdated beliefs that prevent you from achieving your goal. I should have listed this as number one, because it is the single most important necessary action. It’s amazing how limiting beliefs can be to your final outcome.

8. Lighten up. Laugh a lot, be happy, and take life with a grain of salt. Meditate, relax and enjoy life. A happy, content and calm person will accomplish more in life as a general rule.

9. Reward yourself. This is important enough that without it, everything else I have listed will have little or no effect. Each small step along the way deserves a reward of some kind, and the closer you get to your goal, the bigger the reward should be. If there are no rewards, why else will you do it? Subconsciously you must feel that you are getting something out of it to maintain the strength to continue pushing. A pat on the back will give you momentum to move in a positive direction.

2008! The year for change!